Forever and Ever.

Yeah.... I haven't blogged in months. been too lazy but also much too busy. haha oh well.

I have been sorta living up my senior year... depends how you look at it. haha
I love being able to chill most of the time and not having that much work.
I like being able to be in charge of taking pictures and working on things that I personally love to work on.,
but at the same time I have hit a social wall and I am losing my friends slowly but surely.
If I'm not hanging out with Kaden im sitting at home watching tv.
I dont get invited to do things with my friends anymore.
I dont care really except for the fact that deep down its killing me.
and maybe its just my fault. im not really sure but I have also decided to stop trying.
We are getting so close to graduating, and really i will probably never see 80% of them again.
of coarse I will still go visit mitch and his family and call up jazmin once in a while.
I just have reached the point of mountian. about to jump off into college and the rest of my life.
Highschool is only a tad bit of you life and even when it feels like you whole world its not

thanks for listening(:

Woooow.

So much awesome stuff has been happening to me(: i just feel super blessed and almost not worthy to be chosen to do all this stuff.... either way im so happy right now(:

Go Dad(:

Go Deseret News(:

{next to}

Day 1: the Senior Edition

I still cant fathom the fact i am a senior. all i remember is looking up to the seniors i have known. i still think of these people as seniors in my own little mind haha...

Whitney Page is freaking married. im not too far off from that! its crazy... but i miss her coming over and tellin my mother her drama stories and telling me to never do this and never do that(;
Jenn Palomino i actually just saw yesterday at the freshman day. i always just think of her as a senior and she is just a way cool human being and its crazy how much time has gone past since she went to school together. i miss chillin with her(:
Amelia Vallen is someone i have always wanted to be like and she always seems to be happy when i see her. I miss hanging out with her in her little adorable house(:
Cameron Beecher was just my huge crush last year and i miss being able to go get sushi with him and play night games and tip cows(:
Parker Miller was one of my favorite people last year. he gave the best hugs and im so proud of him for going on his mission. I will miss that kid and i will count down till his homecoming(:

These are just a few of my favorite "seniors"(:

Im still not sure how i feel about being a senior... today was awesome but i hit a melancholy wall when i got home. i love and hate it all at the same time.  but i will suck it up and live it up while i still can(:

LWoS (last week of summer)

i will now document this precious week in the best way i know how....

me chillin my my new room

partying in mitch's truck

me and katana found tattoo mustaches in my bag

riding with my head stuck out the window

Looking at our old yearbooks

Me and the dork

sunn

mitch lookin hawt

life's too short to even care at all, oh woahhh....

New Favorite Band:
A very attractive fellow from lehi that i met on the bus home from dixie offered to show me this band.
they are called Young the Giant. quite smashing band(: i recommend them(:

I have not written in a while. like at lease two weeks haha still having a writing block

I will however share with you things that have happened recently...

got back from girls camp just saturday. it was my last year and for some reason it was the one with the most bad luck. haha it rained. our tent leaked. we had to set up a new one. and i was the worst mood really. im good at hiding it tho haha(: it was generally an ok year at girls camp and im glad i went!

I am still a thing with Sugar Daddy(: im worried about whats gonna happen during school but i guess we will see. I still really like him but im not really keen to the idea of a boyfriend. just doesnt sound like the best thing for my senior year haha.  and i want to date around still. especially that really cute kid from lehi that is my music soul mate haha(: but anyway i just hope this all goes well...

im moving up to the loft this week!!(: im so pumped.... i should probably be up there now cleaning out the closet haha but ill get to it. i also got some new sweet paintings for my walls(: one is this metal jesus painting thing and then a comic book pic of lips haha. way cool.

next week im going to California! im so ready to just be on the beach(: me storm and kilee are gonna have a blast(: we better considering we will be stuck in a car with each other for a good 24 hours all together haha(:

Also at our meeting this morning me and mckilee got our theme for homecoming approved!! oh yeah masquerade.... so rad(:

I hope you all enjoy your last month of summer(:

some pics ive taken recently::

Flash Floods of Pain.

So yesterday i went on a date with a boy. we will call this boy weirdy beardy. or WB. anyways. we hadnt hung out or even talked much since a certain event occurance last fall. I thought this would be a great time to catch up and maybe become better friends like i had been wanting for a long time. well we did go on this date, we went and saw kung fu panda, split a banana split, and went up to "makout out point" to talk. no makeout i promise haha. but he talked about his life problems for a while and i listened. he got choked up about his brother on his mission. which was really cool. we talked about testimony stuff and about the church. it was a really nice talk. but then he talked about us and some things that he should have told me a long time ago. I wont go into much detail but lets just say it was really hard to hear.  and since this same kinda thing has happened to me before with other guys, it hurt alot more. I mean i try to see the best in people (especially boys i have feelings for) and i try to push aside the things wrong or the things that need to be fixed. I want people to be as good as i see them. but of coarse they never are. WB just told me pretty much i was a rebound and how terrible he felt about it. he wished he picked a better timing for all of it. it was horrible timing and if we had dating, for example, right now, all of the fighting and hate would have not happened. ( or at least 100 times less). I really hurt to hear. I was bawling like a new born baby. but after all of it.... i forgive him. I mean i cant do anything about it now, its done, and you know what? i dont regret it. I cared about WB and still do.

times like these really make you think.... what is everyone else thinking right now? are they faithful, are they real friends, or do they just pretend. either way, why freak about it. there is absolutley nothing you can do but see the best in them and hope.... hope its the real thing.

With immense gratitude and accommodation,

Tay ✌

12 GB...

So.
Just had my first professional photo op this weekend(: and honesty I freakin loved it. I really think I found my calling in life. I feel so happy when im capturing some one's happy face. I live to click that shutter button(: here is how they turned out:

{more at http://www.facebook.com/pages/TEJ-Photography/158039527588825 (: }


On a different note....
I really am so so happy the year is alomst over.... one more real day left....to bad its the hardest day yet:p
but after that i go to the stomp, get my yearbook. and thenn....year book day! I really love this day
I love getting little messages in my yearbook...
Its so exciting! :D

on a different different note....
boys suck. I talked with my dear cousin morgan about this last night (with freaking storm in the room what the heck?) we spoke about or boy stories and i explained to he that at this point I find it so freaking hard to trust guys anymore. like in the back of my head a little man with a microphone is telling me all guys are douch bags and will hurt me eventually no matter what. and honestly i believe this little man. I feel like a cant open up to any guys anymore. (except storm and mckay... bFF's duhh) i dont know. it sucks but i feel like im just in this ditch. i mean sure i still like some guys but i always tell myself that its pointless and hopeless. i dont mean to be morbid ladies and gentlemen...im far from a morbid person. its like hard to explain i guess.... ask me about later.

anywho i hope you all had a great sabbath day(: I know i did(:

"Would you like to help her relieve her stress??"

New Blog. felt like some vintage summer myself. i like it(:

I wanted to be more colorful than usual. 

and I love vintage pattern and photography.

anywho.

life has been very stressful, jealousful, and delightful.

all that the same time.

and the jeaousful thing is a bit complicated but no need to fret.

I got this(:

Summer is seriously right around the corner(:

but so are all my finals so im not sure how great it is really...

i got a C- on my effing pre calc test. 

felt like throwing up really.

i cant get a C in that class.

that doesnt fly with me:p

I have decided that i really hate that there is no one to date right now. 

all possible candidates are either:

-not interested

-not available

-graduating

-are yet to be determined

Caden Cook is not helping at all. 

one:he is trying to hook me up with all these random people

two:he the one that i think is super attractive and i would rather make out with him than any of his suggestions.

three:he made things weird with pablo i think...

four:he is one of the "not available" guys. and he is way cute. 

sucks.

I just want someone to hold hands with at the carnival,

to cuddle in movies with,

to possibley makout with.

not in like a horn-dog kinda way just like for fun

i mean who wouldnt want that, just to make them happy

i am not the only one,, trust me(;

I will also share with you my bucket list::

{not all of them,, the list is still coming along}

- kilee's grandparents camp out

- eat at least one snow cone a week

- go to cali with mel, katie, eileen, and kilee

- have a tent date

- make out with one guy

- go on the ferris wheel with a guy (even if i dont like them like that)

- have a big party

- toilet paper and least five houses

- have a deep conversation with a specific few 

- pull an all nighter

- get tann (well tanner then this)

- buy some more toms

- wear more dresses
- take so many pictures it will overflow out the back of the camera
- do a bunch of senior shoots!
- go to alot of concerts
- grow out my hair/ get longer extentions
- come on eileen video
- cowboy movie making

that all so far.... (: its growing kids, dont you fret(:

anyway i need to go do chores.

wish me luck with the rest of this stressful seven days. 

thats right, seven days left,

yahoooooooo!!!

*yahoo.com theme song*

have a good tuesday children(:

dont do drugs,

take showers so you dont reak,

take your vitamins,

and wear clean underwear(:

{tej photography}

28 day....because 2 of them were dumb(:

Day 1: Write about your best friend


Morgan Samantha Allred(:
She is my very best friend and has been since....birth haha. the pictures of us together when we were little are so awesome i need to scan them one day(: anyway she is the coolest craziest person I have ever known. She KNOWS how to have a killer time and how to never get in trouble for doing so. I can tell her everything. She always listens and when we laughs about my "problems" then i know they are dumb and i shouldn't worry about them. Our four-in-the-morning talks are the bomb. We could laugh till our stomachs burst. She is so gullible and easy to tease. and when you tease her she is really good at punching you REALLY hard. She is so pretty and is always wearing the coolest clothes. Honestly sometimes our friendship is the one thing that keeps me from being jealous. she is so funny and she could do anything she wanted to. she is a rare friend to find and im so glad she is mine. I am going to miss her like crazy when she leaves this summer for college.... growing apart from her scares me to death. I hope that we stay best friends even when we are 93 years old and wear adult diapers hahaha(: I love her so much. and now i will show you my very favorite pictures us. they make me smile(:

Awkward Love Songs.

This Spring Break has been delightful! (: i have spent every single day with storm and mckay. haha but that isnt a complaint(: we have had a blast. Made three video's (im still editing one more), had a skewer fight,  eaten alot of leftovers and Satan wings, Hacked facebooks, went swimming, and went up to Salt Lake. isnt that what spring break is supposed to be? (dont answer) YES(: it is. and today was the last real day of spring break which makes me really sad.... but we only have like a month and a half left of school so i think i can pull through... then its summer and my senior year is still practically a break. and then we all grow up... blah blah blah.... i dont want highschool to be over. we were talking about the senior video for next year and all the sad songs we are going to put in it and all this other stuff.... I'm gonna bawl without a doubt. but untill then i will have to compose myself haha(: Well i hope you all have had a wonderful time during this spring break. I bid you, Adieu.

When i blow your little planet into smitherines...

"It's alright to tell me what you think about me
I won't try to argue or hold it against you
I know that you're leaving you must have your reasons
The season is calling and your pictures are falling down

The steps that I retrace the sad look on your face
The timing and structure did you hear he &@#%*& her?
A day late a buck short I'm writing the report
On losing and failing when I move I'm flailing now

and it'll happen once again I'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
Sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
And I've been here for too long
To face this on my own
Well I guess this is growing up

Well I guess this is growing up

And maybe I'll see you at a movie sneak preview
You'll show up and walk by on the arm of that guy
And I'll smile and you'll wave we'll pretend it's okay
The charade it won't last when he's gone I won't come back

And it'll happen once again
You'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
And sees through the master plan

But everybody's gone
And you've been there for too long
To face this on your own
Well I guess this is growing up

Well, I guess this is growing up
Well, I guess this is growing up"


-BLINK 182




Just thinking about  growing up today... My best friend is almost graduated and I'm going to be senior. its so weird. all the hot guys that are seniors now are going to be gone in mere months and leaving on their missions and I'll probably never see them again. I cant wait to do stuff big kids do but I will forever be in the mind set of highschool. its way to much fun and exciting. I'm gonna miss all my friends one day when we all go our seperate ways and probably never see eachother ever again.... Gahh thats so weird. Pretty sure my childish mind is just imagining this huge builidng with endless food and video games that all my friends and I are going to live in together forever until we die. haha kinda dumb but until i actually experience life thats just what my mind will think.  Anyway i REALLY hope i will still stay close to people like jazz and storm and mckay. not that they are more important but they are just the first four people i think of. anywho...

"WE CANT REWIND WE'VE COME TOO FAR"

Me Lucky Charms!!

i will tell you one thing about luck

ITS REAL.

lucky little nick knacks are real

if you dont wear them/use them

you will regret it

i havent worn my lucky unicorn necklace

in two days

and i got a parking ticket yesterday,

allergies today,

and i down right feel super stressed.

and when i wear my necklace

like usual

good stuff is always waiting around the corner

so i give you this piece of advice

and say 

Good Luck(:

The Amazing Shadows.

{this picture make me giggle[:}

NEEDS:
I need to finish my sweethearts stuff before my mother goes out of town
I need to be responsible about my motherly duties this next week
I need to clean my room
I need to stop not reading and read (20 books in 4 months)
I need to stop not going to class
I need to get a car wash
I need to get a job


WANTS:
I want to hang out with Dallen
I want it to be sweethearts already
I want to get extensions
I want to buy clothes
I want it to be summer
I want to play Little Big Planet


THINKING ABOUT:
I am thinking about movies
I am thinking bout dying my hair (red or brown?)
I am thinking about life, the universe, and everything
I am thinking about Dallen(:
I am thinking about grades
I am thinking about photography
I am thinking about ukulele recordings
I am thinking about making another stop motion movie
I am thinking about psych tomorrow
I am thinking about painting my nails
I am thinking about something new to do to my hair
I am thinking about getting a new face
I am thinking about The Office
I am thinking about all these lists I am making....

Dumb and Dumberer.

{for the record, this is the only picture of just the three of us.

and i look horrible in it. just sayin.}

Today i will share my thought on my very two best guys friends.

I love these two(: they are a choice pair of odd boys.

but they make me laugh everyday i see them

I met Mckay in the ninth grade and Storm in the tenth. 

We have had our share of the best times i have ever had.

Me and Mckay on the other hand have had very awkward times... very...

but alas we will always be close.

I will always remember the night we blew off all of our usual friday night plans and spent three hours talking about life, the univierse, and everything. those three hours at village pizza are ones i will never forget. that night we shared all of our secrets that we woudn't tell anyone else. we pondered about our childhood, our parents, our friends, and our relationships. and to top it off they slept in my back yard and we layed there looking at the stars. it was a interesting night and really put our friendship into concrete.

Mckay: This guys is a character. mckay is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. he knows when you need a friend or you need a smile. he will always be there for you even of the other 99% of the time he is being a goofball. 

Storm: he is even for of a character. you cant really describe him. he can be the rudest slacker freakshow ever. but he is a good friend and he gives the best advice when you need it. he knows when to be serious even if he isnt most of the time.

These twoo guys are leaving me for a week and a half. i know its silly but idk why, it makes me sad to think i cant see them for that long. especially when i see them everyday at school usually plus the weekend. so this is why i decided to share this with you. ridiculous? yes, but oh well(:

PS:

I just love this picture to much not to share(:

#10 or #11... I cant remember

          I'm really lovin life right now. I got really good grades this term, the semester is almost over, and i get to take photography in about a week! there is alot going on this next week but it will be all for the better. I have finally decided on who I am going to ask for Sweethearts! Dallen Veazie(: He is one of the nicest coolest kid i know and im really diggin him at the moment... and Sweethearts is just gonna be a blast in general! Im gonna ask him this weekend.... and this weekend i also have to go to the boys choir concert down town. I love listening to them sing(: it really just puts me in a good mood every time. and they are good and deserve to be in honors choir! also i want to go to slow train to get some more records:D But school wise this week is gonna have its ups and downs. Im finally done with my finance and astronomy classes but im also leaving my very film lit. class which saddens me): but i should have good classes next semester so thats nice(:
         Im really stressed for this whole new year. I have to get a job, get good grades, and get ready college. I have some big things coming up and im a HUGE stress monster.... but i need to do them none the less.... And i need to stop over analyzing thinks in my brain... it makes me do and say stupid things that get me in trouble. so thats another thing to add to my things to work on
        So me and morgan made a list book late the other night. I really diggin the idea. im going to put any list of everything i can think of. right now i have my "21 by 21" list(;  half way there(; and i also put a list of my future baby names and a list of my guy friends and why i think they are so awesome. the last one was a spur of the moment kinda thing. moment being 1 in the morning with morgan laughing alot. an odd mix  i must say. haha(:
      
Stay frosty, and remember, your awesome(:

The Year Of Love(:

Goals of 2011:

-never get less than a B+
-stay in touch with morgan and april even when they go to college
-get a job in the summer and keep it through the rest of  senior year
-turn in college applications by November
-get into Utah State!
-get an internship with photography
-be a better laurels president
-get personal progress done by end of school year
-no boyfriends and date more
-make two more friends

I solemnly swear to try my hardest to complete these goals(:

Happy {New} year(:

Resolution.

This new years,
I need to have,
Some thing,
Awesome happen.

or at least this is my plan

Im sick of boring new years eve's
last year i stayed home
what the eff?

But i have a feeling
It will be boring once again

YAY.

Can i tell you something??

Being sick...

Blows.

Big. 

Fat.

Tissue Paper.

This week is way too important to go all stuffy and nippy on me.

To much to do i say!

But we cant all have the luck of having it all work out perfectly huh?

Sorry for this sour attitude of mine.

But im cranky,

and we are out of the good soup.

I just want this hell hole of a week to be over.

I wish all my projects were done

and all my test were studied for, taken, and passed.

But i hope all of you are having a good week,

cant be too selfish.

Happy Monday!

watch your self bucko...

Pictures = me at this very moment in time.

 {gripping with fiction}

 {watch your step}

{idled away}

{murderous hands}

{Basket....suit case}