Fresh-woman in love.

Today I moved in to my dorm at Utah State. i havent written in a couple months because life has been crazy and not too interesting..... I guess i went on that europe trip, and graduated, but my only responses when people ask how those things were are "aweome!" "crazy!" "so fun!" and "the scariest thing of my life"... so yeah my life was pretty perfectly adequite this summer.... and now im all grown up and living the life.

oh! and ya know im in love with the best guy i have ever met in the whole entire world.... Kaden is the best thing that has ever happened to me. he is my best friend and no guy will be better for me. cheesey i know but whatever! i dont care "Im in love, Im in love, and I dont care who knows it!" but really. and guess who likes him alot and wants me and him to work out in the long run? MY FATHER. he never likes the boys  i date or event the fact im dating boys... its crazy.

long story short.... me and kaden had to break up before i moved out.... so like two days ago.... and im pretty much a mess... i feel bad for jade (my roomate) who has to deal with me right now. i have kept it together pretty good except for the night he kissed me goodnight and my way to work the next day.... i hate crying but everytime i think about it i tear up.... i hate feeling like this and honestly i havent felt like this is in so long (over a year) i forgot how crappy it felt. he made me so happy and its my fault we had to break up. its the worst feeling i have felt thus far. but i will try my hardest to make it work. i mean if my mom had it her way she would make up get married right now! she adores him. my brother told me he wants him as a brother in law. he looks up to him so much and wants to be like him. carter is a brat to him but i know she likes him. i just feel like a better person around him. he makes me smile and we fit together like puzzle peices. we laugh, we pretend to argue, he is protective and i love it. anyway ill shut up about my feelings.

Today i moved in! i was one of the first people here. My mom and my aunt brought me up. I love them to death! we had so much fun. they kinda looked like my lesbian moms hahaha it was pretty awesome. i brought alot of crap and i have never been so tired and sweaty just from walking up stairs... i just finished setting up my room an hour ago. i really like it. everything fits in the room. its not as crappy as i thought. my mom cried in the end and i told her to stop. haha its was cute tho. and i miss my room. haha i miss my boyfriend. i miss having food all the time. i miss home cooked meals. i miss my friends... but im excited and this will be an adventure.

these are just the beginning of my life adventure:

goodnight universe. you and all your tragic mysteries.

Forever and Ever.

Yeah.... I haven't blogged in months. been too lazy but also much too busy. haha oh well.

I have been sorta living up my senior year... depends how you look at it. haha
I love being able to chill most of the time and not having that much work.
I like being able to be in charge of taking pictures and working on things that I personally love to work on.,
but at the same time I have hit a social wall and I am losing my friends slowly but surely.
If I'm not hanging out with Kaden im sitting at home watching tv.
I dont get invited to do things with my friends anymore.
I dont care really except for the fact that deep down its killing me.
and maybe its just my fault. im not really sure but I have also decided to stop trying.
We are getting so close to graduating, and really i will probably never see 80% of them again.
of coarse I will still go visit mitch and his family and call up jazmin once in a while.
I just have reached the point of mountian. about to jump off into college and the rest of my life.
Highschool is only a tad bit of you life and even when it feels like you whole world its not

thanks for listening(:

"Would you like to help her relieve her stress??"

New Blog. felt like some vintage summer myself. i like it(:

I wanted to be more colorful than usual. 

and I love vintage pattern and photography.

anywho.

life has been very stressful, jealousful, and delightful.

all that the same time.

and the jeaousful thing is a bit complicated but no need to fret.

I got this(:

Summer is seriously right around the corner(:

but so are all my finals so im not sure how great it is really...

i got a C- on my effing pre calc test. 

felt like throwing up really.

i cant get a C in that class.

that doesnt fly with me:p

I have decided that i really hate that there is no one to date right now. 

all possible candidates are either:

-not interested

-not available

-graduating

-are yet to be determined

Caden Cook is not helping at all. 

one:he is trying to hook me up with all these random people

two:he the one that i think is super attractive and i would rather make out with him than any of his suggestions.

three:he made things weird with pablo i think...

four:he is one of the "not available" guys. and he is way cute. 

sucks.

I just want someone to hold hands with at the carnival,

to cuddle in movies with,

to possibley makout with.

not in like a horn-dog kinda way just like for fun

i mean who wouldnt want that, just to make them happy

i am not the only one,, trust me(;

I will also share with you my bucket list::

{not all of them,, the list is still coming along}

- kilee's grandparents camp out

- eat at least one snow cone a week

- go to cali with mel, katie, eileen, and kilee

- have a tent date

- make out with one guy

- go on the ferris wheel with a guy (even if i dont like them like that)

- have a big party

- toilet paper and least five houses

- have a deep conversation with a specific few 

- pull an all nighter

- get tann (well tanner then this)

- buy some more toms

- wear more dresses
- take so many pictures it will overflow out the back of the camera
- do a bunch of senior shoots!
- go to alot of concerts
- grow out my hair/ get longer extentions
- come on eileen video
- cowboy movie making

that all so far.... (: its growing kids, dont you fret(:

anyway i need to go do chores.

wish me luck with the rest of this stressful seven days. 

thats right, seven days left,

yahoooooooo!!!

*yahoo.com theme song*

have a good tuesday children(:

dont do drugs,

take showers so you dont reak,

take your vitamins,

and wear clean underwear(:

{tej photography}

Cheat Sheet.

i seriously feel so full of...crap. so much stress, excitement, and fatigue all the time everyday. its horrible. but alas i must press forward and get through this last month. 


Just so you know, on top of being in student council for next year and the stress for that will come one day,, I have to help with all of the activities for graduation and help the current senior stud co with all the things they have to plan for it. so much to handle. and i have been skipping so much class its really really bad for me. im trying to cut back but ususally its not my fault.


Also we are halfway into CRT's and its not fun. done with english (but it was super easy) and today we finished the first half of the physics CRT. haha after we all finished we turned and saw two people hard making out in the field outside the window. pretty funny because we got to bang on the window with signs that said "your sick" and "get a room". those two young people stopped and left to go make out somewhere else haha(: super funny!


and of coarse i have to big projects coming up and i havent started either. cant be good. nope. 


I hope all ya'll are having a great end of year tho. and that you dont procrastinate. dont do drugs. be clean. remember to eat breakfast. shower regularly. ya know,, the usual. [:

{cool picture of Joe(: }

Day 3: Your top 10 pet peeves:


1. When other people end slurp their drinks. im ok if i do it but it bugs me when other people do haha
2. Girls with annoying voices say umm alot
3. When people dont know when to stop teasing me
4. When people tap my shoulder to try and make me look
5. The word "moist"
6. When my two hands have the same color of nail polish
7. When girls carry their bags/purses in their inner elbow with their hand all up
8. BYU
9. annoying laughs
10. Old mean ladies who happen to be Mormon


Day three.... Step on me...

{to eileen,,, have fun in seattle(:}