Fresh-woman in love.

Today I moved in to my dorm at Utah State. i havent written in a couple months because life has been crazy and not too interesting..... I guess i went on that europe trip, and graduated, but my only responses when people ask how those things were are "aweome!" "crazy!" "so fun!" and "the scariest thing of my life"... so yeah my life was pretty perfectly adequite this summer.... and now im all grown up and living the life.

oh! and ya know im in love with the best guy i have ever met in the whole entire world.... Kaden is the best thing that has ever happened to me. he is my best friend and no guy will be better for me. cheesey i know but whatever! i dont care "Im in love, Im in love, and I dont care who knows it!" but really. and guess who likes him alot and wants me and him to work out in the long run? MY FATHER. he never likes the boys  i date or event the fact im dating boys... its crazy.

long story short.... me and kaden had to break up before i moved out.... so like two days ago.... and im pretty much a mess... i feel bad for jade (my roomate) who has to deal with me right now. i have kept it together pretty good except for the night he kissed me goodnight and my way to work the next day.... i hate crying but everytime i think about it i tear up.... i hate feeling like this and honestly i havent felt like this is in so long (over a year) i forgot how crappy it felt. he made me so happy and its my fault we had to break up. its the worst feeling i have felt thus far. but i will try my hardest to make it work. i mean if my mom had it her way she would make up get married right now! she adores him. my brother told me he wants him as a brother in law. he looks up to him so much and wants to be like him. carter is a brat to him but i know she likes him. i just feel like a better person around him. he makes me smile and we fit together like puzzle peices. we laugh, we pretend to argue, he is protective and i love it. anyway ill shut up about my feelings.

Today i moved in! i was one of the first people here. My mom and my aunt brought me up. I love them to death! we had so much fun. they kinda looked like my lesbian moms hahaha it was pretty awesome. i brought alot of crap and i have never been so tired and sweaty just from walking up stairs... i just finished setting up my room an hour ago. i really like it. everything fits in the room. its not as crappy as i thought. my mom cried in the end and i told her to stop. haha its was cute tho. and i miss my room. haha i miss my boyfriend. i miss having food all the time. i miss home cooked meals. i miss my friends... but im excited and this will be an adventure.

these are just the beginning of my life adventure:

goodnight universe. you and all your tragic mysteries.

Forever and Ever.

Yeah.... I haven't blogged in months. been too lazy but also much too busy. haha oh well.

I have been sorta living up my senior year... depends how you look at it. haha
I love being able to chill most of the time and not having that much work.
I like being able to be in charge of taking pictures and working on things that I personally love to work on.,
but at the same time I have hit a social wall and I am losing my friends slowly but surely.
If I'm not hanging out with Kaden im sitting at home watching tv.
I dont get invited to do things with my friends anymore.
I dont care really except for the fact that deep down its killing me.
and maybe its just my fault. im not really sure but I have also decided to stop trying.
We are getting so close to graduating, and really i will probably never see 80% of them again.
of coarse I will still go visit mitch and his family and call up jazmin once in a while.
I just have reached the point of mountian. about to jump off into college and the rest of my life.
Highschool is only a tad bit of you life and even when it feels like you whole world its not

thanks for listening(:

The Devil's Armpit.

Today we (meaning my mother, kilee, storm, and I) left at 4 in the morning to get our rental car and make our way to the great state of california...(:
we also had to pick up Tamara from The Middle of Nowhere, Utah.
and so then our journey started....

we stopped for some breakfast.... and a photo opportunity......

The Cheveron Beaver Giant Rocking Chair!!
it was awesome(:

And then as we went on we tried to sleep (failed)
well kilee and storm got some sleep but i had none
we had some interesting stops on the way though.....
Barstow was one of these beautiful stops. we more like the devils  armpit.
it kindof reminded me of like china town or something.
this small rest stop seemed to be able to fit a icecream shop, a mcdonalds, a panda express, a deli, and like 4 different souvenir  shops
it was ridiculous. if you are claustrophobic, steer clear.
it also smelled like beer and Chinese food
and it also had a little gypsy dude scary machine called zoltar.
it kept looking right at me.
freaking messed up.

any way we finally arrived in long beach at like seven ish.
all cozy in our hotel with mothers and daughters sharing beds and storm sleeping on the floor.
at the very moment he is hiding  under kilee's covers. he is so skinny you really cant even tell its awesome(:

 Palm Trees

Oooooh, Aaaaaaah 

 Kilee and her obsession

 Kilee at five in the morning

Us loving our buick rental car(:

i will have more to share later but ya'll have a good night(:

That Girl has Some Lady Balls.

this first "official" week of summer has been... super rad(: spent the first third with my best friends, the second third with a new kid (that i possible have a thing for (long story, kinda messy,ask me later)) and starting today the last third studying for the ACT and celebrating my uncle on saturday night. i dont know about you guys but my week has been great(: this month is going to be short on cash but i think i can manage. as long as a dont drive and i dont eat out (unless i have gift certificates) then i will be set to save up for the month of JULY which is gonna be uber crazy(: i get to go to Dixie with my stud co, road trip to california with some of my best friends, and then my last girls camp. the girls camp thing is ehh not that exciting but man oh man i am excited for Dixie and California(: this summer is going to be awesome(:

no on the subject of this said boy... I call him sugar daddy. not because i made that name up... but because he specifically asked me to call him that haha(: he is a really funny kid and i like hanging out with him. we never run out of things to talk about. he is a cute kid.(: i like him(:

to my best friend morgan: i cant believe your going to college in a week... Im gonna miss you alot so you better come visit a lot(:

to my other best friend kilee: i wish you would come back from girls camp already,,, i miss your face(: we will hike a mountain when you get back(: and we have many stories to swap(:

these are the many photos to show how my first week and a half of summer went(:

 {henna tatoos for the boys, me and my best bro, carnival, seven peaks, adventures with mo, kaden, and cole, driving, and demo derby}
____________________________________

with natural curls and lovin it,
Tay ✌♥☀

Flash Floods of Pain.

So yesterday i went on a date with a boy. we will call this boy weirdy beardy. or WB. anyways. we hadnt hung out or even talked much since a certain event occurance last fall. I thought this would be a great time to catch up and maybe become better friends like i had been wanting for a long time. well we did go on this date, we went and saw kung fu panda, split a banana split, and went up to "makout out point" to talk. no makeout i promise haha. but he talked about his life problems for a while and i listened. he got choked up about his brother on his mission. which was really cool. we talked about testimony stuff and about the church. it was a really nice talk. but then he talked about us and some things that he should have told me a long time ago. I wont go into much detail but lets just say it was really hard to hear.  and since this same kinda thing has happened to me before with other guys, it hurt alot more. I mean i try to see the best in people (especially boys i have feelings for) and i try to push aside the things wrong or the things that need to be fixed. I want people to be as good as i see them. but of coarse they never are. WB just told me pretty much i was a rebound and how terrible he felt about it. he wished he picked a better timing for all of it. it was horrible timing and if we had dating, for example, right now, all of the fighting and hate would have not happened. ( or at least 100 times less). I really hurt to hear. I was bawling like a new born baby. but after all of it.... i forgive him. I mean i cant do anything about it now, its done, and you know what? i dont regret it. I cared about WB and still do.

times like these really make you think.... what is everyone else thinking right now? are they faithful, are they real friends, or do they just pretend. either way, why freak about it. there is absolutley nothing you can do but see the best in them and hope.... hope its the real thing.

With immense gratitude and accommodation,

Tay ✌

"Would you like to help her relieve her stress??"

New Blog. felt like some vintage summer myself. i like it(:

I wanted to be more colorful than usual. 

and I love vintage pattern and photography.

anywho.

life has been very stressful, jealousful, and delightful.

all that the same time.

and the jeaousful thing is a bit complicated but no need to fret.

I got this(:

Summer is seriously right around the corner(:

but so are all my finals so im not sure how great it is really...

i got a C- on my effing pre calc test. 

felt like throwing up really.

i cant get a C in that class.

that doesnt fly with me:p

I have decided that i really hate that there is no one to date right now. 

all possible candidates are either:

-not interested

-not available

-graduating

-are yet to be determined

Caden Cook is not helping at all. 

one:he is trying to hook me up with all these random people

two:he the one that i think is super attractive and i would rather make out with him than any of his suggestions.

three:he made things weird with pablo i think...

four:he is one of the "not available" guys. and he is way cute. 

sucks.

I just want someone to hold hands with at the carnival,

to cuddle in movies with,

to possibley makout with.

not in like a horn-dog kinda way just like for fun

i mean who wouldnt want that, just to make them happy

i am not the only one,, trust me(;

I will also share with you my bucket list::

{not all of them,, the list is still coming along}

- kilee's grandparents camp out

- eat at least one snow cone a week

- go to cali with mel, katie, eileen, and kilee

- have a tent date

- make out with one guy

- go on the ferris wheel with a guy (even if i dont like them like that)

- have a big party

- toilet paper and least five houses

- have a deep conversation with a specific few 

- pull an all nighter

- get tann (well tanner then this)

- buy some more toms

- wear more dresses
- take so many pictures it will overflow out the back of the camera
- do a bunch of senior shoots!
- go to alot of concerts
- grow out my hair/ get longer extentions
- come on eileen video
- cowboy movie making

that all so far.... (: its growing kids, dont you fret(:

anyway i need to go do chores.

wish me luck with the rest of this stressful seven days. 

thats right, seven days left,

yahoooooooo!!!

*yahoo.com theme song*

have a good tuesday children(:

dont do drugs,

take showers so you dont reak,

take your vitamins,

and wear clean underwear(:

{tej photography}

Truth or Truth.

Day 4: What was the last movie you watched, write about it


I watched..... It's Kind of a Funny Story. way good movie i would totally recommend it. It has Zach Galifinakis (spelling....ugh) and some other people. its about this kid who at first goes to the hostpital because he wants to kill himself and the hospital can only help him by putting him in the psychiatric department of the hospital with all these crazy people. its just a sweet little quite movie and its really funny and quirky. very well liked....by me(:

P.S. Im glad i have friends that are ok with spending an entire friday night talking. 5 hours. but very funny and also very truthful....hence the title of my post...(:

Day 3: Your top 10 pet peeves:


1. When other people end slurp their drinks. im ok if i do it but it bugs me when other people do haha
2. Girls with annoying voices say umm alot
3. When people dont know when to stop teasing me
4. When people tap my shoulder to try and make me look
5. The word "moist"
6. When my two hands have the same color of nail polish
7. When girls carry their bags/purses in their inner elbow with their hand all up
8. BYU
9. annoying laughs
10. Old mean ladies who happen to be Mormon


Day three.... Step on me...

{to eileen,,, have fun in seattle(:}

Awkward Love Songs.

This Spring Break has been delightful! (: i have spent every single day with storm and mckay. haha but that isnt a complaint(: we have had a blast. Made three video's (im still editing one more), had a skewer fight,  eaten alot of leftovers and Satan wings, Hacked facebooks, went swimming, and went up to Salt Lake. isnt that what spring break is supposed to be? (dont answer) YES(: it is. and today was the last real day of spring break which makes me really sad.... but we only have like a month and a half left of school so i think i can pull through... then its summer and my senior year is still practically a break. and then we all grow up... blah blah blah.... i dont want highschool to be over. we were talking about the senior video for next year and all the sad songs we are going to put in it and all this other stuff.... I'm gonna bawl without a doubt. but untill then i will have to compose myself haha(: Well i hope you all have had a wonderful time during this spring break. I bid you, Adieu.

Spring Break is for Lovers.

9 days....1 mission.... have an awesome amazing spring break(:

so far the odds are lookin good(:

i got a bunch of weird video projects and a couple of photo opportunities...

YES. (:

I very excited so use my new holga camera(: Its collecting dust from the non-usage... 

Im hoping that there wont be even one day where im at home with nothing to do... that would make this girl very sad. 

and i have the feeling my care is just perfect for this kind of holiday... to bad the weather sucks.

Oh and i have given up on that 30 days thing. the one i was doing, i realized, was super lame. so i may start another one, if i find one that suits me...(:

Sundays are superbly boring....how can a day that should be so uplifting just make you want to just sleep? it shall stay a mystery...

{this is me on Sundays}

I cant stop listening to Fountains of Wayne... ya know that band that sings Stacy's Mom? yeah their other music is a bit different but i freakin love it. also I am oddly getting way into classical music. It puts my in a joyous mood.  

Shout out to Morgan the asain... Im sorry your date for girl's pref got sick...I guess god wanted you to feel like nick. not that you are being punished or anything hahahahaha just a thought...(:

Everyone should have a great break. party. laugh. makeout. hah just kidding only if you got a man(;

"Today I Will High Five You Yesterday" - Adventure Time